did you get engaged???
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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