this just has baby written all over it
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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