Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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