My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
