The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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