Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
