Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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