I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
