its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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