You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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