Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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