you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Randomize
