chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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