So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Please don't give away my fajitas
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
