At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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