yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize