Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I looked at my own cervix.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
