It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
i now understand why vodka
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
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