everyone is single if you try hard enough
I am spending my child support on dildos
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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