ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
