You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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