He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Houston, we have a squirter
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
