you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
