Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
