Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
