Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
