Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry angelofsecrets hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(310): View more from California

This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.

Fav 17 1054 4463
share tweet
(214): View more from Texas

I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.

Fav 26 5616 869
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(410): View more from Maryland

Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?

Fav 7 4007 1507
share tweet
(504): View more from Louisiana

You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that

Fav 6 1580 878
share tweet
(717): View more from Pennsylvania

He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.

(1-717): View more from Pennsylvania

10 points to you

Fav 8 2418 722
share tweet
(619): View more from California

It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.

Fav 11 3070 839
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(571): View more from Virginia

In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.

Fav 18 1505 824
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(563): View more from Iowa

Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.

Fav 3 249 172
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(870): View more from Arkansas

Let the clothes fall where they may.

Fav 0 43 4
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT