i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
