It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
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If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
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No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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