Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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