Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Randomize
