the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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