Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
i've created a new STD.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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