i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
My penis needs a shock collar
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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