I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
