she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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