so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
