drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize