i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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