If that was your dad, he is hot
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
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