rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
