I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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