I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
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