ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
