I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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