I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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