did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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