How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
BRING THE BAGELS
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
