I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize