I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
