Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Randomize
