The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
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God gave him joint rollers for hands
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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