Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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