In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
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There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
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It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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