But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
