if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
