i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Randomize
